13th unrequested Review is of Shifty Mold
Rating out of 10: 1 -- Is this a joke? How is this in the top ten?

Lay-out etc: (2: 0)
There is no lay-out. It's a white background with table of text in the center. Try a picture? Anything? Oh wait I found the picture on an old entry. I guess it was a formatting problem. It has a lot of html problems here and there that are noticeable as well.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 0)
Someone please tell me WHY oh WHY nobody uses Ellipses correctly?

This guy has beat everyone else I have written a critique for in using them though. I think he uses Ellipses in every single sentence. If there were an award for horrible writing habits I think he would win.

Try not to use the word like so much, it's not cute.

"Hullo?" -- What the hell is hullo? That's not cute either.

Unique: (2: 0)
Absolutely nothing.

Quote from the diary: (2: 0)
"I gave up on Beth...maybe stupidly...maybe, even though I gave up on her because I wanted to be w/ Christy...maybe its better that I don’t have to worry about either of them in a way...like...still friends w/ Beth...not worrying about her liking me"

What was that?

If you've been reading diaries at diaryland and getting writing tips from them, PLEASE STOP.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 1)
Well the good news is he doesn't have much of an archive which means he just started writing. Maybe my critique will start him on a new path. I give him a 1 in hopes that he takes this critique seriously and makes lots of changes, or just gives up writing a diary altogether.

posted by Eli Moose on Wednesday, October 31, 2001

Since starting this I've received quite a few emails of praise. More than I thought I would. I actually thought I'd receive a lot of hate mail. So let me toot my own horn by sharing them with you, my lovely readers. Names have been left out to protect the innocent.

email subject: thankyou!
"I just felt this overwhelming need to thank you for doing what you're doing. I'm guessing that you've seen a bit of backlash (just because everyone is so hyper-defensive about some of those dairies). Thought I'd throw a little praise your way (for what it's worth). So thank you for pointing out how pompous those people at the "original" diary critic are. And no, you are not alone in getting annoyed with people who write "cuz" instead of "because". It probably is anal but it makes my skin crawl. Keep doing what you're doing - you're doing it well! I'll be clixing for you. "

"I love your reviews. And no, that's not kissass bullshit, I really do. Whether you decide to read my diary and trash it or not, the compliment stands.
I'd love it if you reviewed me. Whether good or bad, I'll still get a kick out of it. "

email subject: what a cool idea
"Hey there,
What gave you the idea for "the real diary critic"? I suspect I know, but
wouldn't assume.
Anyhow. What is your criteria for evaluation? Is it just stuff you pick up
at random? I like the fact that you are shamelessly subjective and make
that quite clear from the start.
I'd love to be read by you. "

And now the obligatory hate mail:

"The first couple of your reviews were cool, but now they're just lame. Maybe
you should go back to reviewing people who don't want you to, and saying what
you really think. Ever since you started taking requests and asking for a link
back, the critiques are not nearly as cool."
posted by Eli Moose on Monday, October 29, 2001

Come on people, you know you like it. Clix me!
posted by Eli Moose on Sunday, October 28, 2001

To all of those that have sent submissions, keep in mind that if you don't see your diary critiqued it's because I've either 1. Not had the time -or- 2. Didn't find your diary up to critiquing. If I critique you, there will be a reply to your email or a guestbook entry from me.
I've noticed the makers of the diary critic on Clix getting a bit nasty on their banner. This just makes me laugh with insane glee. I never tried to compete with them, and the fact that they consider me competition makes it that much sweeter. Originality? What's so original about The Diary Critic? Let's see..

12th review unrequested is of The Diary Critic
Rating out of 10: 2

Lay-out etc. (2: 1)
The picture of the cigarette inbetween the fingers? What the hell is that for? Are we to think all diary readers smoke? I surely don't. The archives take ages to upload.

Quotes from the site: (2: 0)
"Diary critic's purpose is to provide over-the-top critiques of diaries and journals for those willing to risk being scrutinized by an esteemed panel of self-proclaimed reviewers. Sometimes pointed, but always honest, our critiques include a comprehensive ranking system, as well as a brief review describing your diary's strengths and weaknesses. Ultimately, we hope to help you make your diary even better, while showcasing the absolute coolest diaries around."

What a load of crap. "over-the-top critiques?" What makes them the be all end all of critics? "Esteemed panel of self-proclaimed reviewers?" Self-proclaimed is right. There is nothing really about these reviewers that make them more qualified than any one else to give an opinion. Because basically that's what we are dealing with here, opinions. Let's try not to lose sight of that ok?

"We seek only to review the creme-de-la-creme of diaries (and yes, we accept submissions from diaries not hosted by diaryland.com). If you know that your diary sucks*, please don't request a critique. First obtain a review elsewhere, then make the effort to improve your diary based on their constructive criticisms. Hopefully you'll know when your diary is ready for us, and at that time, we, the reviewers, look forward to you submitting it.
*Note: We tip our hats off to all diarists who are brave and diligent enough to write about their lives online. Regardless of what you write about, how your diary looks, etc., we commend you for your efforts. But this site is intended to help serious diarists who are sincerely interested in improving their diaries by requesting our subjective feedback."

If you know your diary sucks please don't request a critique? I just don't like the way they come off all haughty taughty. "Hopefully you will know whey your diary is ready for us..." This makes me want to look for all these esteemed qualifications they have. I think it's just a load of bullshit hype. Even though in the list of reviewers they all boast that they are "professionals" in some form or another, what makes one being a "professional designer and collector of toys" qualified?
I don't really see the problem in having a diary critiquing site, even one that has more than one reviewer, but why go through all the trouble making themselves look so ESTEEMED?

Annoying writing habits (2: 1)
This one was hard for me because there are so many different reviewers and they all write differently. I think the most annoying thing is the way parenthesis are used constantly. Over use of any form of punctuation is deadly. If you look at several reviews I think you'll agree with me on this one.
Also I hate how some of the reviewers put little text faces next to things they say like for instance ( :/ )

Would I go back for another read? (2: 0)
Honestly no. I've looked at it a few times and couldn't get past how qualified the reviewers think they are and how those that send in requests are made to feel lucky at best to get reviewed. Because the reviewers give each diary a base of 40 points to work with most of them end up with around 80 points give or take a few. I'm bored by what they think. Are they making better diaries, or just puffing up their egos? Are these diarists making changes or just getting pats on the back? You can't be nice and objective at the same time.


posted by Eli Moose on Sunday, October 28, 2001

11th review was requested by Beautiful One
Rating out of 10: 5

Lay-out etc. (2: 1)
I see a picture of Ms. Spears, but none of the so called, "Beautiful One." Is there a reason for this? I mean if you are brazen enough to call your diary "Beautiful One," show the reader what you are talking about.

But seriously, it has an average lay-out that is too wide for even larger than average screens. Not everyone reading diaries have huge monitors, and it bugs me to have to scroll over to read your diary. Maybe if you put the diary part on the left side so the reader doesn't have to do much to access your writing it would be much better.

Someone tell me the reason people started putting little boxes on their diaries saying what they are wearing? I think this is the stupidest thing and I wish someone out there would invent something more interesting to put on it.

Also, frames should be used wisely. The way you have this is set up is not. I don't see the need for it. It's annoying. I hate having to scroll down the side bar to read your whole entry, even when it's SHORT enough to fit on my screen without the stupid frame. Frames are useful when you have all your links on the left and when clicked , the link opens up on the right half of the screen.

The previous, next, and current links are good at the bottom of your diary, but how about putting another archive link on the left so if the person just wants to go straight there they don't have to scroll all the way down the current entry. Ever think people may have already read that one and want to scan archives?

Quote from the diary: (2: 1)
"brad and i went to the movies, and it was empty except for us. EMPTY. so of course i immediately suggest getting naked and making a fantasy a reality, but he wouldn't. he didn't want anyone to walk in on us. he said, and i quote, "i don't want to cuz it would suck", which apparently i took the wrong way. am i alone in thinkin that was pure insult? he apologized when he figured out how upset that comment made me ("i didn't mean the sex, sex with you couldn't suck, i meant it would suck trying to have sex while looking over my shoulder and worrying about getting caught with my pants down..")"

Annoying writing habits (2: 0)
This person could also learn a lesson about the use of Ellipses. Don't over do it ok?
Another thing I really don't understand is why people write cuz. I know this may be the way you speak, but this is a diary that is being offered to the public. Please take the time to write words that are actually words. It's really sad that this person writes that way, because I think she'd be a good writer if she didn't. It's a matter of audience, and expecting the mature audience to appreciate the way you speak by ignoring things like cuz is not going to get you a mature audience. I think she'll grow out of it. Hopefully. Maybe I'm alone in this opinion, and I would be happy to admit that it's anal. The fact still remains this is all about my opinion.
Over the top usage of coarse language that is not needed. I don't think writing the occasional fuck is a bad thing, but overdoing it is not attractive either.

Unique: (2: 1)
Password protection on certain entries? It's unique but I don't like it. If you want to keep something secret pass it around to your friends by email.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 2)
When I get past the coarse language and slang I enjoy the writing. I like the way the writer expresses herself.




posted by Eli Moose on Friday, October 26, 2001

If you guys don't clix out on me I wont get into the top ten. Start CLIXING!
posted by Eli Moose on Wednesday, October 24, 2001

10th review was requested by Smiling me
Rating out of 10: 3

Lay-out etc. (2: 1)
I'm sorry to say this, but these colors look horrible. I know the diarist probably loves it. I liked almost everything about the lay-out except pink/lavender font on the yellow background is hard to read; or maybe I'm allergic to the color.
I don't like little boxes that tell people what you are currently wearing/doing/eating etc. There has to be something more interesting than what your hair looks like today?
The picture page takes WAY too long to load. Perhaps breaking them up into several different pages? And, ditch the starry background.

Quote from the diary: (2: 1)
"Ho hum...*thinks* Let's see. I'm officially single now. Yup. It was ended yesturday. 2 months and a day. Definately my longest relationship that i've had in quite a while. But definately one of the most un-active (and I don't mean sexual) relationships that i've ever had. But he's happy now, and slowly but surely i'm on my way to being happy! :) "

Annoying writing habits (2: 0)
Ellipses. Ellipses should be used sparingly. Over using them makes your writing choppy. Think of elipses as a ....... pause in thought. Not a way to show your reader that you are scatter-brained.
Communicating emotions like this *thinks*, *shrugs*, *smiles* etc. Why don't you just communicate your feelings through your writing?

Unique: (2: 0)
Nope, nothing unique here. I looked for a long time.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 1)
No. I hate to say it, but this diary is quite typical. There are hundreds upon hundreds of cute faced teens writing about their clothes, friends, boyfriends, parents etc out there. Diaries like this one are everywhere. Many people enjoy reading them (I gave it a 1 keeping that in mind). I do not. I need something deeper to keep me reading. If teenie bopper soap is what you're after this one's for you.

posted by Eli Moose on Monday, October 22, 2001

My humblest apologies goes out to Digital Love Thieves, I apparently put the wrong link yesterday accidentally.
posted by Eli Moose on Sunday, October 21, 2001

9th review requested by Digital Love Thieves
Rating out of 10: 8 (closest yet to a perfect score)

Lay-out etc: (2: 1)
Even though it's very aesthetic, I had to give it a 1 because I was forced to reformat my screen to look at it properly.
I don't really like how small you've made your viewing box. Make it larger. Something about it's placement and size distorts the whole thing.

Quote from the diary: (2: 2)
"So imagine my surprise after I got off the bus and went across the street to the local chinese restaurant. I got my general tso's chicken, opened my fortune cookie. And blam. There was the message already telling me what my heart was feeling at the moment. Not so much betrayed as empty. And no amount of food could make that ache go away."

Each entry is short and yet speaks volumes.

Annoying writing habit: (2: 2)
I couldn't find one. I actually love the writing style. It's beautifully written.

Unique: (2: 1)
I like the list of friends together with pictures and quotes, although you should go out and take pictures
of all of them so that it's complete. As well along the same lines you should get each one to have a quote.
It would just look better.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 2)
The BAD thing and perhaps in this case good thing is that I can't find your archives. Iwould like to read more and I can't. It's unlike other journals out there where you can read the writer's 6th entry of the day. Write more! Give me an archive!


posted by Eli Moose on Sunday, October 21, 2001

side note: Thanks for all the votes, I'm quite pleased with the popularity of my site. And if you've submitted your's and/or plan to in the future. Try to be patient with me. It takes me some time to read them. They will be done soon though, unless I send you an email saying I wont.

8th Review (unrequested) is of Sad Rantings
Rating out of 10: 2

Lay-out etc: (2: 1)
Okay people, tell me if you agree with me on this one. He has his age, sex, sun-sign, height, hair color, and eye color listed in the column on the right of his entry. And from reading in his entries it all begins to make sense. He's an AOL user. He must have this site listed on his AOL profile and when he's chatting up men they can go to his page and check out his details. This is a diary, not a personal ad.

Also a note on the lay-out; I think it's pretty clean and bug free except a broken image (one of those mood indicators which I hate anyway). Plus the fact that people with average to semi-large screens get the additional scroll bar scrunched up next to the original one. I think this just makes makes the point of having the other one seem useless.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 0)
"What the hell is going on with me? Am I depressed or something and just don't know it? Lately I just feel .... weird. Weird and totally uninspired with everything. But ... I laugh. And I don't feel sad or anything. I'm not dead broke like I usually am. Is it the weather? I dunno. I just don't feel like doing anything. Like nothing at all. And I know I'm not just being a lazy ass. I just don't feel .... I dunno."
"I couldn't get online last night when I wanted and I saw what people meant when they say "AOL sucks". It was a good thing I guess .... cuz I wanted to be up early today. Its hard to set a time limit when I start chatting with Danny."


Annoying writing habit: (2: 0)
dunno? I maybe just nitpicking, but people who use that word in their diaries... And twice in the same paragraph... You get the picture.

cuz? Someone help me.

You'd think he would have some great content seeing as how he writes like 3 entries a day sometimes. I searched for it and all I found was an ad for Red Bull.

Unique: (2: 1)
Pop-up box with a disclaimer? As much as I hate disclaimers I had to give it a 1. It popped up as I was going for the archive link at the bottom of the page (it appears to be attached to a link that I wasn't aiming for), and since I've never seen that before I have to admit it's unique. Although I don't like being given a disclaimer, especially when I wasn't aiming for it. Now I will not subject you to ranting on disclaimers. That's been done before. A scrolling what's new section? Unique but stupid.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 0)
Sometimes when I get to this category I find it hard to explain why I would or would not like to read the diary again. I wouldn't say this guy doesn't know how to write. That is reserved for those that really can't. He just doesn't write about things that I want to read. That's not a bad thing, I'm sure there are hordes of AOL users that go to his site everyday and find it utterly fulfilling. But this is about my opinion and therefore it gets a 0. Tough nookies.


posted by Eli Moose on Tuesday, October 16, 2001

7th Review was requested by Ever Free
Rating out of 10: 6

Lay-out etc: (2: 2)
You can tell that a lot of time and thought was put into this lay-out. It's very clean and easy to navigate. From reading the entries it really fits the picture about the writer that the words form in my mind.
One suggestion would be to have the main page link to your current entry page, instead of having it be a part of the box of selections at the left. That way the reader doesn't see a blank page when they enter the website.

Quote from the diary: (2: 1)
"No one told me that a letter came from Kathryn the other day. I don't know how I missed it, things just seem to get lost in the shuffle here.
I found it on the counter this morning, and ran upstairs to read it. Ripped it open, and... well...
She doesn't want to be with me anymore. I suppose it was my fault, she wanted me to give us another chance, but... then I was going back and forth to Japan, and... I'm still here and she was there, and...
She's moved on. She's with someone else. But she said she still loves me...
I don't know what to do.
I'm losing everyone I care about.
But we all get what we deserve, ne?"

Very descriptive, poetic writing.

Unique: (2: 1)
Good use of frames by allowing the reader to choose what they want to look at from the box at the left. I like it.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 1)
Definitely! I feel drawn into your world. I am one step away from bookmarking. It's refreshing. It's clean. It's good writing. Thanks for the experience.

Side note: I'm getting a hell of a lot of people visiting, but you aren't voting for me! I need your votes. Protest bad diaries being in the top 10.
posted by Eli Moose on Sunday, October 14, 2001

6th Review was requested by Burnt Toast
Rating out of 10: 4

Lay-out etc: (2: 0)
I know that this is a Blogger and I am using a template, but I am also not trying to promote a diary. My honest opinion about diaries is that it is okay to use sites like diaryland or blogspot to host them, especially if you don't know much about html. The main thing I dislike about templates is that there is little or no imagination put into it as far as personal touches goes. With some personal touches this lay-out could be made better. There are template makers out there that he could use. He could study some simple html to put pictures or whatnot on the background. Also, perhaps on any other day all the links would be working and the reader wouldn't see any broken links, but today I did. Broken links and images get you a big fat 0.

If you are looking to snazz it up a bit, I do suggest you check out web-sites that offer free templates, some of them may even work with blogs. I am not sure if Blogger or any of those related sites have talented individuals promoting their designs, but it's worth looking into. I preferred your template from back in July. It's easier to read.

Quote from the diary: (2: 2)
"My flight has been cancelled. It's official. I'm now booked on the flight Sat morning at 0115. Providing of course, that the airports are open.
I ask myself, will I ever feel safe again? My wife is a flight attendant, I'm an aircraft mechanic. I am also trained in security procedures. I know how, with enough planning, how easy something like this is to pull off. According to reports I've heard, these guys seem to have started training for this over a year ago. How many more of these incidents are planned? When a year has gone by, will they strike again? Will they wait for us, or another nation, to develop a false sense of security, and then strike again?
I was watching the ticker that runs at the bottom of the TV screen, listing the names and ages of some of the victims in the aircraft. I read them and just went numb. A little while later, my wife and I were talking about it, the senselessness of it, the reactions of certain peoples and governments, and when I started reciting some of the names and ages, I lost it. I mean it's one thing to see it on TV. It looked so surreal. But to put names... ages.. I mean a 2 year old girl, still a baby.. a husband and wife and child."

Despite rather foolish claims that I don't read past the current entry on the diaries that I critique, this diary made me WANT to read more. I hardly ever find straight male diarist that write more than a few sentences on blogs. This guy writes out his daily thoughts and feelings very well. He brings you into the situation with him, takes you on a journey into his thoughts. I really enjoyed his writing style. (see I can say nice things when appropriate)

Unique: (2: 1)
Nothing too unique here, except the name.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 1)
I enjoyed this author's writing. I think it's because when I'm reading it I feel like I am getting to know him. I am interested in what happens next. This is the ultimate goal I believe any diarist should have if they want readers to keep coming back.
posted by Eli Moose on Sunday, October 14, 2001

5th Review was requested by Step on the Ginger Bug (brave)
Rating out of 10: 4

Lay-out etc: (2: 2)
Upon the read of my first paragraph of the diary I couldn't tell if the writer was male or female. I finally figured it out toward the end of the entry. Not that it has anything to do with the diary, but I like to know what sex the writer is when I read a diary, and the fact that it was hard for me to figure out must mean it's hard for others to figure out as well. You come across as a gay male at first. I know that didn't make your day!

The lay-out is easy enough, except that I think there should be an additional forwards and backwards link at the bottom of each entry because some people like me are ready to read another entry without scrolling back up to find the back arrow.

Quote from the diary: (2: 1)
"I sent a text message to K (a busy young lady, a friend of sorts whom I know through T way back from Uni in Finland. K came here semi-permanently about 3 years ago, I think. I've never really gotten to know her, to be honest. I don't know why. Actually, maybe I do. At Uni, she was T's lover for a short while. They shared bisexuality. Maybe, seeing as I was left out of that equation, I remained distant towards K). Feeling guilty that I should only get in touch with her when it suited me, I just made a tentative enquiry about her plans for Saturday evening"

This provides a lot of information, but it's all garbled up into one small paragraph. It's screaming, "Why don't you tell me MORE?"

Annoying writing habit:(2: 0)
Is anyone else annoyed by the initials used to keep names anonymous? Initials are just hard to read and hard to keep up with. A diary online needs to appear to be a regular diary made public. If the writer is being so obvious about the anonymous part, it loses something in the translation. My advice, just make up names and make them appear to be the actual names of the people you talk about.

Your links need to be cleaned up. I shouldn't have to click older in search of an archive and see a short description of you. Maybe you should put that description of yourself (since it is so short) somewhere in the top margin of your journal so that it is easily seen on every entry. Also on that same page you try to provide the reader an over-view of the people you talk about by having them hunt and peck through your past entries. This is so not cool, and frankly a little lazy.

Unique:(2: 1)
The bottom of each entry sometimes contains "random snippets" or additional information. I like that idea.

Would I go back for another read?(2: 0)
Probably not. Why not? Well even though the writer seems to know how to communicate her problems fairly concisely, I'm just not into it. I think that writing a journal that keeps someone coming back is the hardest of all. There needs to be more personal information, more background given in small doses to go along with each entry. Keep trying!
posted by Eli Moose on Saturday, October 13, 2001

4th Review is of Pure as the Driven Slush
Rating out of 10: 7

Why did I give her the highest rating as of yet?
Because she can actually write.

Sure I know she is using the journal and the link at diarist.net to get subscribers for her photographs, but even I can begrudge her that. If I had her job and her bod, I think I would probably do the same and make good use of the internet to have free advertising. Although even though she does have a diary as well, I think that diarist.net could yank her because she is getting freebie advertising from their site.

Quote from the diary:
"I think it is safe to say that in any culture, in any community or group, it is much easier to go with the flow of the energy, the direction something is generally going in. We don't really even have to try to create unease, noise or disorder in our minds, because it is already there, in a never-ending torrent. Going against that grain is not passive, it is hard, long, challenging work."

You can see from her biography that she is older, more educated, and more well-rounded than most of the other diarists featured on clix. Which gives her a plus here. She writes well, because she has been educated. I still am not completely interested in what she has to say though. You may also wonder, what is a published author doing hanging out at clix? Did I mention free advertising?

Annoying writing habit:
She talks to the reader as if the reader can talk back. I think it's a common writing tool for private diaries, but in the online journal arena I find it scary.

Unique:
Did I mention she can write?

We all know how I like to say bad things about bad diaries. And I don't do it just to be mean, as some may think. I do it because I've been reading diaries as a hobby for quite some time now and need a place to get some of my opinions off my chest. This diary is the best I've seen in the top 10 on clix. Sadly, I don't think she is getting readers of her diary, but viewers of her photos. This probably doesn't bother her since she can get new subscribers with brand spanking new credit cards to bulk up her cash flow.
Her site is well organized and has a nice lay-out as well.
There I said nice things, much as it pained me to do so.

Who's next?
Stay tuned.




posted by Eli Moose on Thursday, October 11, 2001

3rd Review is of Pandemonium
Rating out of 10: 4

It didn't take me long to decide what irritated me most about this diary. When I started reading the first sentence of a paragraph and skipping through the rest it gave me a clue. The type-face and size is just too damn small, and the paragraphs go on for ages. The writer likes to use italics a lot, and she drones on about the same subject-matter for too long.

This one also has a disclaimer. This also goes on forever. In the last paragraph she claims that she lives in America so can write what she wants. As if everyone who writes a web-diary lives in America, and as if it matters. The web is pretty open as far as web-diaries go. You don't even have to live in America to keep one. Imagine that!

It looks like she's writing a letter with someone specific in mind. Disclaimers are just stupid. She seems to not want her family to read her diary either and that's fine by me, but I don't need a lesson in why she keeps her diary as a part of a huge disclaimer. Also, this is not going to keep people you don't want reading it from reading it, if anything it will draw them in even MORE.

Quote from the Diary: (sorry it's so long)
"about twenty minutes ago, the cell rang. i answered it, and someone hung right up in my ear. i thought that was rather rude, checked the "in calls" on the phone, and called back. i didn't recognize the number. it was busy for a few tries, and then it rang, and a guy answered. i'm like, "hello? someone just called me from this number." i wasn't rude at first, incase it was someone i knew. he goes, "tiffany?" and i'm like, "yeah?" and first he asks me what i'm "doing tonight". i say, "nothing, just sittin' around," or something like that, and then he starts telling me how he was hanging out earlier with his friend "adam", and they saw me (and i'm thinking this is someone i know, somehow. it has to be, because i've been here a month & nobody knows me, and the number was in this area code. i thought it was my bro & his crazy friends in the bar, somewhere or something, goofing off. a lot of people are in from out of town for the wedding, so i figured it was one of them on the phone or something). and i was like, yeah, so? let's cut to the chase already. so he goes, "well, he told me to hook him up." and i'm like, who is this fool that nobody's told him i'm a lesbian? i'm convinced this is some kind of joke. so i say, "well... i like girls." and he goes, "that's even better". ?? o-k, whatever... then he goes, "do you like to party?" and by now i'm thinking, ok, this person does not know me at all. i tell him no, i don't "party". i'm starting to get the picture. i respond that my "party" days were several years ago, hoping he gets the hint that i'm not the 19-year old (straight) college bunny he's somehow conjured me up to be in his troubled, perverted mind. "

In the actual title of this entry she say's she's "...drawing in psychos." Sorry but I wouldn't go that far to say that someone calling a cell phone to try to get a date a psycho.

Unique:
This one also has a blog she links to. Which has a horrid background with planet and stars with scrolling text. If there's one thing that I detest more than a disclaimer, it's a busy background and scrolling text. Puke. Also she thinks for some reason it's cool to use tiny pictures as links to things like her guestbook and email. This reminds me of AOL users. They need pictures to navigate the web. She probably uses AOL.

Annoying writing habit:
Writing really long entries/paragraphs without being interesting enough to keep the interest of the reader.
"and I'm like..." Need I say more?

The worst thing is after one viewing of about 3 or 4 entries I have no desire to read her diary ever again. Which is probably also the most fatal thing about it. I don't know how she gets her readers to come back.


posted by Eli Moose on Wednesday, October 10, 2001

2nd Review is of Blank Page
Rating out of 10: 6

This one is currently rated #1 at diarist.net and is probably one of the best of the bad diaries I've read.

First of all the main page is just a black screen with some text on it. Nothing there that's going to make me go in the diary. The girl is not in the least bit vain since we shall find a small picture of her on almost every entry, so I don't know what's preventing her from spicing this front page up a bit.

It also has a disclaimer. Disclaimers on diaries that are available to the masses are just stupid. If you are going to have your diary listed on a diary site where it can receive high amounts of traffic just diss the disclaimer. Okay?

Quote from the Diary:
"She went home again this weekend. I was telling Dana that I feel like such a failure as a friend. "

Why did I pick such a short quote? Because you will find some version of this same sentence in almost every weekend entry. Apparently she thinks her room-mate goes home every weekend because she finds her "boring." If you want to find something to whine and rant about repeatedly, find something else please. This kind of whining is annoying at most, it doesn't get reader sympathy. You may think that she finds you boring, and you may mention it once, but please spare the audience it every single weekend.

The way she puts pictures on every entry is actually the only form of graphics she's got, and the fact that she is attractive is probably the best thing she's got going for her. It's one of the plusses that kept me from rating it lower. I think she will probably keep her readers for a while. I check back every now and then, even though it's not what I consider great writing.

Annoying writing habit:
Sometimes doesn't capitalize, and sometimes does. I wouldn't have a problem with it if you were against capitalization as a whole and kept it consistent, but this is obviously a person who doesn't edit their entry too much before throwing it on the net.

Uniqueness:
She has added what she ate for lunch as a part of her entry. Although this is unique, who the fuck cares?
posted by Eli Moose on Monday, October 08, 2001

1st Review is of: The diary of a spoiled drunk
Rating out of 10: 3

First off anyone that says "later smurflings" should be shot. No really. You don't have to call your readers smurflings, and definitely not "darling smurflings." Please stop doing that.

Quote from the Diary:
"We are home....we are jetlagged...we are tired, and we are having a bit of a tiff...he sez he is not mad at me, but I think he is...he sez it is cuz of sex again...he feels I am unresponsive and I am never wanting it...I don't know how to feel....I want him. I always do, but there are times when I despize sex...it has to do with my past. I don't expect him to deal with that. I don't expect him to understand. I am scared that he will turn to another...."

Annoying writing habit:
Also anyone that writes "sez" and "cuz" needs to be shot.

This diary is not even tasteful in its graphics or design.
There is no way to navigate between each entry without going back to the archive page.

I think the person who writes this wants to be interesting. The diary can be found on diarist.net and seems to be ranked very high, but don't think this is because the diary is worth your time, it's because the writer tricks everyone into clicking a picture on the front page which is what votes for the diary.

Uniqueness:
The writer really wants us to believe she is always wearing a cute pink nightie.
Clue: dont' ever put what you are reading, wearing, watching, or listening to on your web-page unless any or all of these things are of interest.

I have nothing more to say.


posted by Eli Moose on Sunday, October 07, 2001